The Right New Year's Resolution

— by Paul Coughlin

Each new year, many who struggle with the Christian Nice Person problem make sincere plans to change their lives. They are tired of the weak, faithless, and low-love way of living that defines their lives. Sadly, they make little progress toward their goal.

One reason is because many well-intentioned messages they receive in church actually make their problems worse. These messages lack the right kind of knowledge and encouragement for CNPs. One study shows that 85 percent of people who attend church have a passive personality. Passive people need to be encouraged and shown how to be bold and courageous, which the Bible tells us to be more than 20 times. Instead, such people are told to embrace greater meekness--this to people who are already meek to a fault. They are already prone to give in to the will of others too easily, not because they love others, but because they fear their disapproval. Telling timid people who are already too meek to become more meek is like giving birth control to a diabetic. It's the wrong perscription.

So this time of year we provide The Christian Nice Person's New Year's Resolutions, which is one of our most popular resources. Use it as reminder throughout the year that the path toward authentic goodness is far different than just being nice and pleasant.

1. I will confront the causes of fear that keep me shackled, alone, resentful, and unable to love and be loved. Fear, I'll remind myself, wants to render me nice and innocuous. FEAR is often False Evidence Appearing Real.

2. I will speak the truth in love and without apology--especially to people who abuse me.

3. I will remember that the Bible encourages me more than 20 times to live with strength and courage. One person living courageously looks like a crowd.

4. I will no longer worship at the altar of other people's approval. Instead I will sacrifice, not so others will like me, but because it's good for them, and me, and brings God pleasure.

5. In order to become a redemptive force for good, I will become wise, shrewd, and cunning like a serpent, knowing that personal piety alone doesn't cut it in life. I will find strength for this new way of living from Luke 16.

6. I will underline my Bible where God and others aren't nice but good. This will give me strength, and inspiration, and help me become the right kind of dangerous.

7. I will not run from my emotions, knowing they are valuable messengers. They make me more alive and more like Jesus who was more emotional and passionate than those around him.

8. I will remember that anger often stems from fear. When angry I will ask myself: What do I fear? Is this fear real or part of a deception? Instead, I will embrace the right kind of anger that comes from seeing evil prevail. People who lack hatred for evil also lack enthusiasm for good.

9. I will remember that passivity is often the sin of omission in disguise. Though others may be fooled by this deception, God isn't, and those close to me suffer due to my lack of strength and courage.

10. Because I'm made in the image of God, I will no longer think that I'm worthless and I will take care of myself, knowing it's not a sin. God's love fuels us to commit courageous deeds

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The Right New Year's Resolution

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