paul coughlin

author | speaker | reformer

Life-Changing Conferences

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About Conference &
Retreat Leader Paul Coughlin

Paul Coughlin is a former newspaper editor and is the author of numerous books. He is the Founder of The Protectors, which provides values-based and faith-based solutions to the cruelty of adolescent bullying. As a popular speaker at men’s, women’s, parenting and anti-bullying conferences, he has appeared on Good Morning America, Nightline, 700 Club, Focus on the Family, C-SPAN, 700 Club, The LA Times, The New York Times, Newsweek and other media outlets. His anti-bullying curriculum is used throughout North America as well as England, Canada, Australia, Uganda and South Africa. He is a frequent radio guest in Cork, Ireland.

He is the Boys Varsity Soccer Coach at St. Mary’s, where he was voted Coach of the Year, and where he is also a member of the Board of Directors. He is a member of the Southern Oregon Leadership Team for SMART: Start Making A Reader Today. He and his wife Sandy have three teenagers and live in Southern Oregon.

Conferences Just For Men

Men Taking Hills: Unleashing Courageous Faith in a Timid World
This one-day to two-day event shows men the hidden power of the male soul, home of thumos–the source of animation, spiritedness, courage, boldness, righteousness and more. Provocative, humorous, and insightful, this conference is ideal for church men, the un-churched and de-churched. Based upon Paul’s latest book, Unleashing Courageous Faith.

Almighty God has wired us to live courageously – but who will show us the pathway? Paul Coughlin has done this in person for years at our men’s conferences and now he does it in Unleashing Courageous Faith.

Brian Doyle, National Director, Iron Sharpens Iron

Men Behaving ‘Badly’: Stop Being Nice & Start Being Good
A one-day to two-day event, ideal for men’s retreats and breakfasts, where men learn to discard fake niceness and embrace genuine goodness, and become more faithful, courageous, loving and protective. Based upon the best-selling book, No More Christian Nice Guy.

Wow, Paul Coughlin! He’s amazing. I’m honored to be speaking with him today. Paul has a prophetic message for men. I’m a big fan. He talks about the martial spirit, about the ‘thumos’ of men, about moving men from being nice to dangerous and good in the image of Jesus Christ. You have to hear this guy.

Kenny Luck
Men’s Pastor Saddleback Church/Founder and President of Every Man Ministries

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Conference Just for Women

No More Christian Nice Girl
Based on the powerful book, No More Christian Nice Girl, this conference helps women become the strong, confident and still compassionate person they were meant to be. Ideal for burned-out women depleted from hamster-wheel religion, who always try to please people and always coming up short. Here Paul explains with insight and humor how being nice is harmful and drains life out of relationships.This conference illuminates the keys to fulfillment at home, work, and church. Women are shown how to emulate the real Jesus, and how this emulation transforms them from a Christian Nice Girl into an authentic, powerful woman of loving faith.

Insight and inspiration as to how to avoid the unintended and often unseen pitfalls of over-parenting is also given, helping women to raise secure, confident and compassion children who are far less likely to become the targets of bullies and more likely to embrace courageous faith.

Not since Boundaries has there been a more helpful resource for Christian women who struggle with “doormat syndrome.” In 10 poignant chapters, Coughlin, bestselling author of No More Christian Nice Guy, and psychologist Jennifer Degler use their valuable insights to help women conquer their fears of conflict, rejection and criticism. The authors deftly use Scripture to debunk the myth that Jesus was always “nice,” and that’s what he expects of His women. Instead, they argue that God requires courageous truth telling—even when it hurts. Using real life anecdotes, examples of strong women in the Bible and discussion questions, the book effectively guides women on the journey from Christian Nice Girl to God’s Good Woman. Especially powerful are Chapters: “Marriage: How Nice Messes Up Matrimony” and “Work: How Nice Cripples Your Career.”

Youthworker Journal
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Marriage & Dating

Bored of the Ring: Cupid, Couples & Singles: How To Be Married AND Engaged
A one- day conference for couples where honesty, integrity, respect and intimacy replace common problems, such as pervasive passivity, which make us married but not engaged. Also ideal for singles, who some day will be married and who are one of the most disenfranchised groups in church today. Based upon the book, Married but not Engaged, one of the most popular marriage resources at Focus on the Family.

You did an outstanding job expounding on the unique challenges today’s Christians face. I’m confident our listeners will benefit from your insightful perspective on marriage. —Dr. James Dobson

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Parent Trap: Raising Secure & Courageous Kids in a Tough World
Too many Christian parents are raising spiritual veal: children who are weak and compliant instead of bold, truthful and assertive, the true character of Jesus. Learn about the common and well-intentioned traps that create timid children–the number one target of bullies–and solutions to creating children with integrity instead. Be sure to read Paul’s book, No More Jellyfish, Chicken’s or Wimps.

Paul has a way of communicating that makes you laugh, makes you think, and always has incredibly practical value. —Dr. Jim Burns, President, HomeWord

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Teens (Ideal for Youth Groups, Camps Retreats and more)

Take Courage: The Forgotten Virtue For Your Heroic Journey Ahead
This conference, ideal for camps and retreats, is unlike any other powerful conference teens have attended. Taken from Paul’s vast experience as a youth coach fornearly 20 years, his ground-breaking research on the nature of courage, and his experience as a father of three teenagers, he shares how courage is the virtue that underpins all other virtues. He explains how essential courage is to spiritual growth, a life lived without regret, and how without courage we are incapable of deep and abiding love–agape–the greatest form of love.

Here Paul appeals to what he calls the “heroic instinct” that exists within us all–but more so in teens than adults. He shows them how to honor, grow and maintain this instinct and to fight against conformity to this world, and to defend human dignity by dispelling the many myths about bullying–a growing epidemic across the country.

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Anti-Bullying Conferences For Schools, Workplaces & More

Courageous U Tour:
Life’s a Movie–What’s Your Role? (Faith-Based)

Studies show that private religious schools have about the same amount of bullying as public schools. During this school-changing live presentation, Paul Coughlin helps all the characters in the “Theater of Bullying” to understand and change their role: Bully, Bystander, Target, and Authority. With humor as well as soul-stirring power, conviction and inspiration, Paul Coughlin gives students, teachers, and parents what they need to know to combat bullying and spread God’s love, mercy and justice, helping to make your school safer, spur creativity and test scores, and grow courage, faith and love.

The Courageous U Tour:

  • Helps bystanders find the courage they need to become a Protector, and in the process grow their faith in action.
  • Helps targets understand the real reason why they are singled out, and how to avoid being a target in the future.
  • Helps bullies see what they are really doing, and what they need to do to change right now.
  • Helps authority understand the dangerous myths about bullying and what they must do to bring peace, justice and harmony to their class and school.

Help your teachers, administrators and students to become Protectors—heroes who defend human dignity, which is a gift from God. It’s time for people of faith to stand up through courage, strength and love (I Cor. 16:14), and help “Justice to roll on like a river and righteousness like a never-failing stream” (Amos 5:24).

Paul Coughlin’s anti-bullying presentation was compelling, relevant and accessible to every student. His natural speaking ability created an openness that the students immediately responded to. His ability to reach our students on such a complicated topic was inspiring and all of the parents who observed the presentation and said it was one of the best assemblies they had seen. Mr. Coughlin has a natural gift and, more importantly, a message that needs to be heard. Having Mr. Coughlin at our school was one of the best investments of PTO funds ever. Hopefully, we will be able to have a return engagement each school year. —Katie Tso, President, Hoover Elementary PTO

The Protectors curriculum is changing the lives of our students. After just two weeks parents are already calling the school office to tell us that what we are teaching has had a major impact on their children. Mr. Coughlin gives excellent and tangible examples that our students can use to confront school bullying. He also equips them to become courageous bystanders and to help targets of bullies. This curriculum addresses the issue of confronting school bullying without promoting violence, similar to civil disobedience introduced by Henry David Thoreau and used by leaders like Martin Luther King and Ghandi. This curriculum, while assertive, is a non-aggressive approach that truly is giving our students the ability to stand against injustice at our school. I have already contacted other educators in other states to promote his material, which is easy to follow and implement and the result is life changing.
Darla Harms, Assistant Administrator & Life Skills Instructor, Unity Christian School, Energy, IL

Download Faith-Based Courageous U Tour Flyer

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Courageous U Tour Anti-Bullying:
Life’s a Movie–What’s Your Role? (Values-Based,
Public School Presentation)

A 10-year government study revealed that the most effective way to diminish bullying in school is to create a school culture that makes it popular to stand against bullying. This is exactly what The Protectors does, especially through creating what we call a “Culture of the Courageous.” Paul Coughlin shows your school how. As award-winning high school soccer coach with more than 15 years of experience, Paul helps all four characters in the “Theater of Bullying” to understand and change their role: Bully, Bystander, Target, and Authority. Of all the characters, bystanders have the greatest potential to make positive, life-affirming change.

With humor, conviction and inspiration, best-selling author and speaker Paul Coughlin gives students, teachers, and parents what they need to know to combat bullying and spread compassion, justice and acceptance.

The Courageous U Tour:

  • Helps bystanders—the most powerful character in the theater of bullying—find the courage they need to use their voice to say “No” to bullying
  • Helps targets understand the real reason why they are singled out, and how to avoid being a target in the future
  • Helps bullies see what they are really doing, and what they need to do to change today
  • Helps authority understand the prevalent but dangerous myths about bullying and what they must do to make their school the best it can be

When we heard of how effective Paul’s anti-bullying presentation is, we called him immediately. He started his presentation with a bang. He is very dynamic and engaged all of our students. I was impressed to see more than 350 high school students remain so attentive and captured by his presentation. Paul addressed a variety of bullying and harassment issues. He did a great job relating these issues to students and helping them understand how impacting they can be. Not only was I impressed with his presentation style, he also taught our students how to help one another and gave them strategies to use when being bullied and harassed. If you are looking for an effective way to address bullying and harassment at your school, I would strongly recommend Paul. Don’t hesitate to call or email for a recommendation. — JESSE PERSHIN, Principal, Rogue River High School

Paul Coughlin’s anti-bullying presentation is preventative medicine against school shooting, one of the most devastating crimes that a school and community can experience. His school assembly presentations were excellent and served as a springboard for our school to develop a common lesson plan on bullying prevention. Mr. Coughlin’s use of personal anecdotes and factual information about the myths of bullying was well-received. He connected well with various age groups, and he responded well to the many questions that students asked. I recommend him highly.— DR. PHIL MEAGER, National Distinguished Principal, Hoover Elementary School

After your anti-bullying presentation, our class discussed times when we might have been bullies and when we’ve been bullied. During this “think time,” one of my students apologized for writing a mean note to someone in the class just last week. She said that your bullying assembly made her realize what a horrible feeling that must have been to have received the note. The two girls went home all smiles today. -Fourth Grade Teacher

Download Values-Based Courageous U Tour Flyer

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Take The Bullying By the Horns: How to Reduce Bullying & Increase Profits in the Workplace

Paul brings his extensive knowledge about the real reasons why people bully and its devastating effect on others into the workplace, helping businesses save time, treasure and talent. He shows bullies how to communicate effectively–without expressing disdain and contempt for others, preserving the dignity and emotional vitality and mental creativity of coworkers. He also shows targets what they must do to defend themselves in order to maintain their own health (some studies show that prolonged bullying has the same effect as Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome for returning soldiers) and to remain productive in the workplace.

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Grandkids, Bullying & You

Some of the most heart-wrenching letters received at The Protectors come from concerned grandparents who see their grandchildren bullied but have little power or ability to help. Here Paul Coughlin gives grandparents the insights and inspiration they need to help their grandchildren and other children through the cruelty of bullying and into a better life. Grandparents learn what they can do to help grandchildren escape the “theater of bullying,” helping them utilize their time-honored wisdom and love.

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Writer’s Conference

The Writer’s Life: There Will Be Blood, Sweat & Tears–Of Joy

As the author of eight books and with more than 20 years of writing and editing experience behind him, Paul Coughlin is eager to share his hard-won knowledge of the writer’s life with others. One of his greatest passions is to share with others what the writer’s life really means and what it really takes to make it. Topics include:

  • Themes: Your Burden & Your Glory
  • Be Yourself–But Amplified
  • Who Do You Love?
  • Grief and Other Wood for the Writing Mill
  • What the C.S. Lewis Foundation Told Us
  • The Only Topic Off Limits–All Else is Game
  • Fill In The Holes
  • The Inconvenient Truths About Marketing, Media & Speaking

To schedule, .

  • Paul Coughlin! He’s amazing. I’m honored to be speaking with him today. Paul has a prophetic message for men. I’m a big fan. He talks about the martial spirit, about the thumos of men, about moving men from being nice to dangerous and good in the image of Jesus Christ. You have to hear this guy.

    Kenny Luck, Men's Pastor
    Saddleback Church, California
    Founder and President of Every Man's Ministries

    Audio Clip IconAudio Clip from Kenny Luck

Books by Paul

  • No More Christian Nice Girl
  • 5 Secrets Great Dads Know
  • Unleashing Courageous Faith
  • No More Christian Nice Guy
  • No More Jellyfish, Chickens or Wimps
  • Married But Not Engaged


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